


Splash Mountain

by orphan_account



Category: Hades (Video Game 2018)
Genre: M/M, Magic-based Sadism/Masochism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-03
Updated: 2020-04-03
Packaged: 2021-03-01 08:41:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,243
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23468596
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: A particular pleasure found only in the misfortune of others.
Relationships: Hypnos/Zagreus
Kudos: 51





	Splash Mountain

It wasn't as bad as you'd think, being crucified three-way. It had actually kind of tickled when the wooden pikes severed his tendons, peeling them from his bones at multiple awkward angles.

No, he wasn't a masochist. Not exactly. The first dozen or so times he'd attempted to escape this particular level of the underworld resulted in Zagreus failing to dodge traps littering the floor. The funny thing about pain is how much of it is really only in your head. Zagreus had learned over the centuries that the sensation exists to alert your brain that, ' _oh shit, you might be dying'_ but when you're an immortal god that has expended a thousand lives, even after the most gruesome of maimings such dire warnings of the body eventually become nothing more than white noise lost in the static clogged sewer of a restless mind.

 _Blast it all!_ His timing proved off once more after rounding the corner of Tartarus. Each time he finds himself here, there was a gaggle of monsters to contend with which distracts him from the intricate webbing of the floor. _What was he doing wrong?_ He replays the scene over and over again, trying to figure out what he should do differently during his next attempt. Zagreus could take being bludgeoned flat by a steel club twice as long as Zagreus was tall. Having his skin blackened by fire or having his lungs clawed out straight from his rib cage was merely a bad case of the Mondays for the warrior prince. Heck, once he'd even sliced all four of his limbs off with a single incredibly ill-aimed throw of his own boomerang. Ever stepped on a land mine, had your blood completely drained, or gazed into a light so bright that it literally melted your eyeballs? Zagreus sure had - all that and a side of gravy.

It was Zagreus' pride that was more easily wounded than anything else. Even worse than dying over and over again was being forced to return to the House of Hades where everyone would be waiting for him, eager to learn exactly how the king's wayward son had met his doom this time around. A faint itching of paranoia whispered to him that he was becoming a running joke to the other gods, figuratively and literally. His patronizing douchbag father would prove merciless towards Zagreus but Hades' loyal stooge Hypnos was definitely a strong contender for second biggest nozzle. 

_Speaking of the devil..._

"Do you finish as fast in bed as you do on the battle field?" Zagreus' brow twitches. That irritating sing-song voice of Sleep's incarnate grinds on his ears like an ax on stone. Waddling deeper into the bloody river, Hypnos shudders with gleeful disgust upon spotting the fatal and still leaking holes rupturing Zagreus' abdomen. Hypnos then rudely pokes at Zagreus' corpse with the sharp end of his quill, rolling him over onto his back like a fallen birch log. "You always did like it rough. Zag, darling, if you needed a vicious pounding by a big thick pole you should have just come to me. Would have saved us both the headache of getting you fixed up. What's your score now? Was that your nineteenth or twentieth time getting those tight little buns of yours served back to you on a silver platter? I've lost track but kudos for not giving up! _Glory in death!"_

It's impossible to tell when someone like Hypnos is joking or being serious. There were two deceptively smooth sides to the baffling coin of the god's personality; whether it was shrewd whimsy or perverted empathy that Hypnos harbored for Zagreus, not even Hypnos himself knew.

This meeting with the other god was also part of the adventuring process that Zagreus had experienced one too many times for comfort.

_So, he really had died again. Damn. He'd hoped this all had been just a nightmare._

Zagreus has regained enough consciousness to understand that he's being spoken to but not enough to formulate a coherent response. He can't quite yet remember how to move his jaws and tongue in such a way that would enable proper speech. Hypnos' smile broadens, as if mocking his temporary disability. There's something in the god's tired eyes that betrays the sticky sweet tone used in his taunting. He looks at Zagreus as if... yeah, the prince has seen that look before.

Hypnos has taken a personal interest in Zagreus.

_Hadn't everyone?_

No, he wasn't arrogant. Not exactly. So it was that although Lord Hades had never directly commanded Hypnos to tend to the prince, he also hadn't explicitly told Hypnos to stop doing so. The dreamweaver fell into the nurse role by chance early into Zagreus' quest, having been there at the right time and at the right place, what with his day job's close proximity to the entrance of Styx which Zagreus regularly graced. Although Zagreus would eventually regenerate well enough if left alone, Hypnos had his reasons for wanting to speed up the process. Truth of the matter was that Hypnos wanted to see if Zagreus really could manage to escape the underworld to join the celestials up in Olympus. There was a betting pool on the boy and with each passing day, the stakes grew more impressive in favor of him succeeding. Whether or not there was a single soul in the House of Hades that would admit aloud to it, no one truly wanted for Zagreus to leave as he was quite popular down here in the nethersphere but his subjects couldn't bear the increasing weight of their prince's unhappiness, never mind when piled on top of their king's.

Still, even if Hypnos' intentions were pure, the dreamweaver secretly enjoyed these precious moments spent alone together. They'd developed something of a routine, one Hypnos was rather comfortable with but not fully satisfied. Zagreus would soon leave him, Zagreus would soon die, and Zagreus would soon return to him once more, all before Apollo could drive the sun to the end of the world. Hypnos was patient as far as Greek gods go but having played in the sandbox of Zagreus' dreams since the lad was old enough to have dreams, he'd waited long enough for the prince to take the hint that Hypnos was interested in him beyond tending and molesting bruises, however beautiful Hypnos found them to be. Zagreus shivers as Hypnos prods at his open sores.

A faint glowing at Hypnos' fingertips suggests magic, presumably of the healing variety.

" _You're always so warm even when you should be cold,"_ Hypnos muses fondly, slipping his hand into the vessel of his affections. His fingers slosh all the way down to the knuckles and Zagreus convulses violently enough to disturb the pool of blood with circular ripples. Hypnos holds him steady with his free arm, cradling Zagreus' head up to prevent him from drowning (something Zagreus has enjoyed his fair share of in the past). When Zagreus opens his mouth, whether in attempt to say something or to scream, Hypnos silences him with his own, kissing him with a weird softness typically delivered to a blushing bride on her wedding night, not a breathing cadaver.

No, he wasn't unfortunate. Not exactly. Misfortune in its clearest definition can be likened to a package lost in the mail or sent to the wrong address. No. He'd ordered this gift, had it specially delivered, and signed for it himself.


End file.
